Harmful Sexual Behaviour

In this article, Marilyn Hawes of Freedom From Abuse examines Harmful Sexual Behaviour (HSB) - a term used to describe sexual actions that are outside what is safe for a young person’s stage of development. It includes actions that can harm either the child or young person themselves, or another person.

Child Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse is an important public health issue, and parents, carers and families have a vital role to play in keeping children safe.

Children and young people are most likely to be at risk of sexual abuse within their family and community. But not all sexual abuse is carried out by adults.

It is hard for us to think about children and young people sexually abusing other children and young people, and it isn’t always easy to tell the difference between abusive and normal sexual behaviours in children.

Children, particularly in younger age groups, might engage in such behaviour without knowing that it is wrong or abusive. That’s why it can be more helpful to talk about harmful sexual behaviour rather than abuse.

The Continuum of Sexual Behaviours by Children and Young People (Hackett 2010)

  • NORMAL: Developmentally expected, socially acceptable, consensual, mutual, reciprocal, shared decision making.
  • INAPPROPRIATE: Single instances of inappropriate sexual behaviour, socially acceptable behaviour within peer group, context for behaviour may be inappropriate, generally consensual and reciprocal.
  • PROBLEMATIC: Problematic and concerning behaviours, developmentally unusual and socially unexpected, no overt elements of victimization, consent issues may be unclear, may lack reciprocity or equal power, may include levels of compulsivity.
  • ABUSIVE: Victimising intent or outcome Includes misuse of power, coercion and force to ensure compliance, intrusive, informed consent lacking, or not able to be freely given by victim, may include elements of expressive violence.
  • VIOLENT: Physically violent sexual abuse, highly intrusive Instrumental violence which is physiologically and/or sexually arousing to the perpetrator and sadism.

Exposing/Flashing/Upskirting

It is naïve to believe this is only a problem in teenage years, Currently, we know of a six-year-old old boy who exposes his penis every day to the class in break time and even draws on it to show his peers .Not to mentor and monitor this child would be a great disservice and fundamentally wrong

“At least a third of men AND boys who are offending are also committing other serious sexual crimes, sexual assaults, viewing extreme porn and other voyeurism offences. The disturbing patterns are a gateway to a wider continuum of violence and predatory behaviours. A high percentage of men and boys who expose themselves go onto commit rape” (ATSA – Association of Treatment for Sexual Abusers, USA)

How to Deal With Concerning Behaviour

If the behaviour becomes more worrying, this might be an opportunity to explain in more detail what is wrong with this behaviour. You should monitor the behaviour to see if it persists and you might want to provide your child with extra support.

If the behaviour is very worrying and more serious, then you need to make sure that you are very clear about what the behaviour is and why it is wrong, ask your child to stop engaging in this behaviour and perhaps seek some advice, for example from a childcare professional such as a health visitor, a GP or a social worker.

What Does the Law Say?

With penetrative sexual activity, the young person must be able to understand and give informed consent – children under the age of 13 years old are not capable of giving consent to sexual activity in UK law.

Professionals may want to consider whether a child’s sexual activity raises any specific safeguarding issues.

Freedom From Abuse deliver specific training on HSB to students and staff which is far more effective than the efforts of teaching staff, as we engage the youngsters’ minds in a different way

What is Harmful Sexual Behaviour?

Harmful Sexual Behaviour can include

  • Frequently and intentionally accessing age-inappropriate sexual material online;
  • Using inappropriate language;
  • Undertaking mutual sexual activity they are not ready for with peers;
  • Sending and receiving illegal images;
  • Sexual interactions where there are significant power differences, lack of consent, or through force or threats; and
  • Engaging in abusive or sexually violent sexual behaviour online or offline.

What is Harmful Sexual Behaviour?

Some indicators of LOW risk

  • Strong belief this is first offence;
  • No suspicion of other incidents;
  • Associates with own peer group;
  • No substance abuse;
  • Supportive family;
  • No real school problems;
  • Expresses concern for the victim;
  • Willing to discuss the offence; and
  • Understands the offence is wrong.

Some indicators of MODERATE risk

  • Other offences known about;
  • May be a loner at school;
  • School difficulties;
  • Unwilling to discuss the offence;
  • Blames the victim & others;
  • History of aggressive behaviour;
  • Cruel to animals; and
  • Associated with substance abuse.

Some indicators of HIGH risk

  • Suffered violent & sadistic abuse as a child;
  • Uses fear to gain control;
  • Carries on abusing regardless of victim suffering;
  • Increasing seriousness in offending;
  • Complet denial of offences;
  • Aroused by violence; and
  • Watches sadistic pornography.

Intervention works best at low risk BEFORE behaviour escalates

Marilyn Hawes

Marilyn is the Founder of the charity Freedom From Abuse which provides support and resources to educate users on how to identify an abuser, report abuse and protect children in their care. A survivor of abuse herself, she was named Inspirational Woman of the Year in 2017.