The Parable of Gord King-Wencelas

A modern day nativity by Dr Chris Lowe

A grievance panel set up by the St. Stephen’s Academy Trust in Much Knowing has recently heard a complaint against an alleged overzealous exercise of authority by the principal, Dr Gordon King-Wencelas, nicknamed ‘Gord’ King-Wencelas. The complaint against Dr King-Wenceslas was made by his deputy, Vice Principal Heather Page. Dr King-Wencelas made a counter-grievance against his deputy alleging disrespect bordering on insubordination, for which he required an apology which was not forthcoming. He had originally considered a disciplinary charge, but decided that his strong belief in goodwill and good cheer barred such a course of action…

The events leading to the grievances began on St Stephen’s commemorative day, aptly named the Feast of Stephen, when King-Wencelas, fresh from delivering a stirring speech to the whole school, saw a trespasser under the bright late afternoon light, crossing the snow-bound, deep, crisp and even football pitch carrying branches from the school orchard.

Heather Page identified the man as A. Porman, a former disruptive pupil, who lived in the forest near their sister school, St. Agnes’s. She advised the Principal to exercise his right to seek a court order restraining A. Porman from trespassing on school land and for dishonest appropriation of firewood under the Theft Act 1968.

The Principal, however, was mindful of his recent speech extolling the virtue of St. Stephen’s as a caring community school. He directed Ms. Page to make up a Christmas hamper of goodies to deliver to Porman after school. Ms Page protested to the Principal that this was not a legitimate requirement in view of her fear of the inclemency of the weather.

But King-Wencelas was of the opinion that if she followed his lead based on his strong Christian principles Heather Page would find that the winter’s rage would freeze her blood less coldly. She told the grievance panel that in the event her doubts were confirmed when she was blown off her feet ‘by the rude weather’s wild lament’ whilst unsuccessfully trying to carry out the task under protest.

Against Gord King-Wencelas’s argument that the loan of his battery-heated boots indicated his concern for her welfare, Ms Page protested that he had no right to order her to perform an activity which, she alleged, ‘froze her blood’.

The panel then heard King-Wencelas’s counter-grievance against his deputy claiming that she lacked basic Christian charity. The panel unanimously took the view that the Principal’s complaint was short on objective criteria. Simply repeating, ‘Look at Jesus’s parables,’ was not deemed sufficient.

The panel members were also dubious about the Principal’s reliance on Ms Page’s job description, which was based on paragraph 45.2 of the School Teachers Pay and Conditions Document 2018, which allows delegation by a Principal. They thought that such a delegation offended the deputy’s right to work-life balance guaranteed by para 52.4. It was not, they opined, ‘reasonable delegation’, which under para 48.1 of the Conditions of Employment she would be obliged to carry out.

Therefore, the panel of trustees sought a definition of ‘reasonable’ and accepted the ‘Wednesbury’ definition that to be unreasonable the action had to be such that no one in their right mind would think of doing (Associated Provincial Picture Houses v Wednesbury Corporation 1947).

The panel eventually decided, as most grievance panels do, to compromise; to give six to one and half a dozen to the other.

They concluded that Gord King-Wencelas and Heather Page should go together through the bitter weather to see A. Porman dine on their goodies.

The chair of the panel, who fancied himself as a poet, summed up thus;

"Therefore, Christian men, be sure Wealth or rank possessing Ye who now will bless the poor Shall yourselves find blessing."
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